My guy friend (who is in a long-distance relationship with his gf of 2 years) and I are best friends. Before getting drunk a couple weeks ago, we went to a sex shop to get some kind of toy for me because he thinks I'm sexual repressed...so it was an awkward evening. We also watched some porn.
After getting wasted, I basically admitted to him that I had feelings toward him, but that I never wanted to have sex with him. He said that I can't develop an emotional connection with him....however, I do feel an emotional connection. He wasn't putting any moves on me, however, he did ask me for a massage. He was touching my breasts with my shirt on... He took his shirt off and he asked me for me to take off mine. I basically fell asleep on top of him while giving him a massage. About an hour later, I asked him to massage me, and he refused and told me to go home. He kept on saying to me, "I hope this doesn't change our friendship.." I asked him whether his gf would be okay with me giving him a massage, and he said that probably not, but that she doesn't need to know. He said he felt like he was doing me a favor by letting me be close and touch a guy. (I've never been a relationship)...He later labeled the massage, "a platonic massage."
Now, I don't think I can be friends with him...I'm absolutely devastated. don't know what to do. Part of the reason why I'm so hurt is because he wants to explore his sexuality and experiment with guys and his gf gave him permission to do so, without him even asking. She just said he could. So I think it will hurt me if he chooses to have sex with guys
A couple weeks after this incident, he did tell me that he thinks a part of me wants to have sex with him, and a part of him wants to have sex with him. But we know we can't..cuz he has a gf.
